Strength and Power. Anger gives a false sense of power because it seems to get people to respond to what we want. The parent in anger is able to get the fearful child to obey in the moment. The coworker is intimidated by our anger and capitulates to our demands. Our road rage causes others to back off uncertain of the risk of getting too close. The sense of power can be intoxicating and this false sense of power comes with unintended consequences of broken relationships, avoidance, isolation, exposure, and vulnerability.
Humility and self-control heal and unite. Proverbs 16:32 says the one who has self-control is demonstrating true power. This heart attitude builds relationships and invites those around us into deeper community.
As we deal with our anger we will need to confront our love of power and control. We will need to peel back the layer that reveals our pursuit of being sovereign in our world and we will need to humble ourselves to admit our desire to control and our desire to usurp God's rule and reign. It is a battle of our kingdom versus God's kingdom. We will face certain loss or we can choose to surrender to His rule and reign. God is sovereign.
Giving up this sense of control will be a struggle. Satan wants us to believe the lie that in giving up our anger we will lose control, but the deception is that in our anger, we have already lost control. Real strength is about self-control rather than controlling others. Real power is about yielding to God rather than forcing others to yield to us. We will need to give up our attempts to get results and yield to the work of God in our lives and the lives of those around us. We will need to allow God to do His work in His time rather than attempting to do our work in our time. This will only be done if we humble ourselves and yield control to God.
Proverbs 25:28 describes the angry person as like a city without walls. The angry person is vulnerable and exposed to every Satanic attack. Every response in anger further weakens our defenses and further exposes our hearts. Anger is not control, but a loss of control! Anger is not strength, but it is weakness.